Why should I be the only 1 to change...why doesn't he/or she make some changes as well..?

Getting married or Moving in together? It will quickly become apparent that you have differing opinions on various issues, and in today's world, it seems like all the preliminary things that were traditionally done when one was contemplating marriage, are simply ignored. So many people may end up in a relationship where important questions were not asked. Important issues like Money, Jobs, Religion, Caretaking for infants, Household chores, grocery shopping, where to holiday, how much to spend on this... and the list goes on. 

Image via Pinterest.

Every family has a different approach to Conflict Resolution. 

-There's the WHAT PROBLEM? THERE IS NO PROBLEM  ( Sweep under the Carpet and pretend it doesn't exist).
- Then there is the YES DEAR, WHATEVER YOU SAY,  DEAR. Total compliance, The same partner gets his or her way most of the time, until he or she becomes a bit of a dictator, a Hitler, it's their way or the Highway. And the more you give in to them, and don't question them, the more dictatorial they become.
- Then there is the CUT DOWN THE OTHER PERSON AND MAKE THEN FEEL INCOMPETENT, he or she attacks the very self-confidence of his or her partner.
-What others can you list, from your own experience?

 Image via Pinterest.

And then there are EXPECTATIONS. Child development experts tell us these are formed early on in childhood, they can be formed by the media, TV, friends, and movies. 

The inevitable arguments start, and insults are swung back and forth. Families of each partner get drawn into the mess, and more words are exchanged. It's always a bit of a shuffle as new persons move into an existing Family circle. They all have to try and get along with each other. The whole process can be exhausting, and in some cases, can prove to be too much for some family members. The relationship can become so toxic that the parties involved decide to not try anymore, it's just not worth the effort. 

Image via Pinterest.

And last but not least, what happens when there is a baby involved? Is it so hard to put aside your individual differences and think about the Baby? 

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Marriage isn't all rosy Pinterest images.....no Bed of Roses either ........it's just hard work, and a lot of compromise.

Whether you are getting married, or you are moving in with someone, you are full of expectations, maybe imagining being Happy, sharing a life together, and enjoying a wonderful Life together. Where do these rosy expectations come from? They may be coming from TV shows we have watched, from Pinterest images, Wedding magazines, and all the media we are bombarded with. 

Not too shortly after you move in together, things about your partner start to drive you crazy. Then, the bickering starts. What are some of the most common irritants?

1. Organization or Lack thereof.  1 person may like everything in its place and cannot function within a messy household. The other person may have been brought up in a messy household, and never picks up after themselves. 
2. Different attitudes towards Money and spending & saving. Her normal may be spending $300.00 on a new item of clothing or accessories, and he may be used to spending a lot of money on parts for his Truck. 
3. Family issues : Why does our Summer holidays centre around your Family and what they want to do? What about me and my Family? 
4. Differences in how conflicts are resolved: One partner wants to hash things out, the other sweeps it under the rug and buries the problem, hoping it will go away. 
5. Lack of Communication. This is a biggie. There is no way that your partner can crawl into your head and figure out what you should have communicated to them. 
6. Different attitudes in bringing up kids and Step-kids.

There are so many more Topics, but we are not going to cover them all today, we are just here to say, if things aren't working out, it's all ok, it's all normal,  when you blend 2 individuals from different families,  to have conflicts and disagreements. If you grew up in different cities, or different countries, it presents even more of a challenge. 

Just remember 3 words : Communicate and Negotiate, and Breathe. 

For help with Wedding Flowers, and Wedding decor, Visit The Camellia, 

at 30, Hacquoil Rd. Thunder Bay, On.

p (807)475 3551

www.lakesuperiorweddings.ca